I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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