the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
