i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
as a side note pls kill me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
