I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
