quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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