Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
