i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
