She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
