I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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