even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize