I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
