shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
