He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
