Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
