so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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