How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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