Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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