"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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