hotel room ftw
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
