so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
