And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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