Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm too high and old for this...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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