I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
