Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
