hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Are we still banned from the library?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
