im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
not ubering you a puppy
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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