I think I just saw someone hide a body.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize