shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
