2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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