Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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