guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
