Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Let's paint friendship bongs
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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