The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
