we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Who died my cat blue again?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
