The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
