I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
