he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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