Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.