My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We just shotgunned beers for America
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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