he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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