This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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