am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
