Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
