New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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