when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
