I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
