I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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