just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
