Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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