It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
