My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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