i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
