hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
