He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
