I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
