i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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