dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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