I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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