No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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